Ever felt like your family is never on top of things?

Do you wish your kids, your husband, your home or your life were different?

I have a new mantra for your family but it could also apply to your ministry at church if you have one:

“Embrace the imperfect”

“Finished is a fallacy”

Do you like the sound of these sentiments?

I actually got these from an interior design article!

But what I loved about them was how they could become a useful life philosophy.

Aren’t we often tempted to look sideways and compare ourselves with other mums, dads and families?

We compare where our kids are up to, our work, our homes, our holidays our marriages. Facebook and Instagram have connected us even more closely to other families making their ‘glamorous’ lives filled with incredible cooking, awesome holidays and award winning school kids unavoidable.

But what use is there in comparing?

‘Work with what you have!’

Why try and live a life or be another family or, as was the purpose of this article I read, design a home in another’s shoes? Each family is unique. You are the first one of your kind. Your family is your own creation.

Now granted the article was about some guys beach house, where ‘permission to be imperfect’ is granted and often part of the charm. Isn’t it refreshing to go out the city and into some village or cove and stay in a place that works its charm on you with what it has, not what it hasn’t? When you let, a place speak to you and inform you over time, you gain empathy for it and work with it, not against it. Plus, and perhaps more importantly, it’s about your family’s interaction with the space and the dialogue that takes place over time that makes the home…a home. We need to respect that unique dialogue and let it inform and shape our home, the way our family works, not try and be something we can’t or aren’t.

You see people all the time putting in the latest style of kitchen layout, ripping up the floors, going on trend with their bathrooms…but does it really work for their space they have and their needs? Pursuing the next thing just puts us on the joyless treadmill of comparison.

Instead how about trying this mantra:

“that will do”

It’s not an excuse to be lazy or justify mess and lack of love. It’s not about being mediocre because you don’t want to excel. It’s a choice to let your family be and not try and live someone else’s life. It’s about finding your home’s quirks both in terms of formal structure and the personalities living in it.

This kind of ‘undecorating’ interior design philosophy recommends considering the ‘existing conditions’ and advises us to stop ‘lamenting the things you can’t change’.

So let’s start with your family…

What are your family's existing conditions?

Consider your family. Accept them. Accept this is what we are. Don’t try changing anything until you’ve understood it, found some empathy for it.

What can’t you change about your family?

No point trying to make your family into some ideal that you feel is on trend. Celebrate your uniqueness. Serve those in your family and around you with your unique combination of gifts. God has brought you together, knit you in the womb, so find joy in what you already have, the incredibly rich, unique combination of people in your home.

How to ‘undecorate’ your Kid’s Ministry

A similar sentiment could be applied to your ministry.

Ever looked sideways at other ministries…other kid’s clubs, Sunday schools and lamented your lack of resources, your crappy hall, your tech ludditeness, the small number of kids, the lack of leaders…but up the road is a big, successful, pumping ministry, right?

First, you’re going to be tempted to copy the design and trends of that big successful ministry. Bad move. You’re creating a rod for your back and a burden you won’t be able to bear.

‘Work with what you have’

Find the strengths of your ministry and quirks and let them fly. Don’t try to be some other ministry that you’re not.

What can’t you change?

Embrace the lack of leaders. Embrace the difficult kids. Embrace your lack of skills. Let that crappy hall reach its potential to serve you. God has put you there with that hall and kids, so take the time to understand and find empathy. ‘This is our ministry…not something up the road’.

Oh, I’m not saying be incompetent, don’t ever change or be happy putting up for ever with a crappy hall. I’m saying pray , be content and maximise, yes, squeeze the living daylights out of the little bit flour and oil you have.

You could have all matching seats around your dining table…or you could collect 8 different seats from the roadside throw out, all functional, all beautiful in their own way and use them instead. It’s being resourceful, embracing your situation and working the most from it.

You don’t have many leaders?

Ok, two things.

First don’t lose sight of the long term, and I’m talking 5 years from now at least. Start a training strategy to raise up kids who are coming to the end of primary school to become your leaders in 4-5 years’ time.

Second, don’t take on programs and expectations that require an army to run them. Maybe run a shorter program, talk to the pastor, keep the kids in church longer, make the service more kid friendly. Then, just run a tight 30 minute program with the kids that doesn’t require lots of leaders.

Find resources that really work!

Shhh. It’s a secret…just because some big old organisation publishes kids ministry resources doesn’t mean they work! Often, they bore kids, labour the point too much, or have little substance.

Get resources that will back you up, really engage kids and make the Bible memorable.

Right now I’m building videos and support materials that will work a treat. They’re perfect for home-school plus church and school ministries. If you missed it…we’ve only weeks ago opened and closed the very first course of Anton’s video courses.

Stay tuned for any further releases and developments of Anton’s Antics’ courses so you don't miss out next time around.