“Dad I’ve got another assignment”
“Oh yeah?”
We both groan.
“We have to prepare a presentation of tourist locations in Australia”
“Oh that’ll be good...which one will you be doing?”
“There’s Cockatoo Island, Fremantle Prison, Kakadu, The Great Barrier Reef”.
“Yes darling, but which one?”
“No, you have to do all dad, both manmade and natural locations”.
“No darling, I’m sure it’s just one”. After all what would be the point of repeating the same exercise four times?
My wife checks the note.
It is four locations. One big presentation of four different locations!
Can’t we just say no?
Will my kid be OK? Am I a bad parent?
So let’s see that’s four sets of research, text, photos, sounds and videos all neatly compiled into power point or ‘prezzie’, whatever that is. It means building and editing, palm carding and practicing four sets of basically the same thing, just imagine bricks instead of reefs, convicts instead of fish.
And despite the obvious questionable value of this repetition, matters are made worse by the fact that we’ve been given 4 or 5 days instead of 4 or 5 weeks. Ok, would it have helped having 4 weeks? Maybe not. But it does mean the weekend is a right off and we’ve had a big week and an even bigger one is set to follow it.
Can’t we just say, “Hey, the kid’s going to learn just as much doing one of these locations, so is it OK if we just complete one location?”
Of course we can. Homework is optional.
So why don’t I strop up to school and have a winge?
Well first of all, a winge at the teacher, something reminds me, is not the way to go:
‘Do everything without complaining’ (Philippians 2:14)
It’s a trivial matter, really. It’s not Syria.
How about a polite discussion with the teacher then?
Well, I’ve never spoken before and I’d hate this to be the first conversation…then the teacher might look at me with annoyance every time I pop up to school or to my kid’s class. Plus, I don’t want to discourage them…I’m a teacher too. None of us teachers mean to inflict hell on families.
‘Encourage one another and build each other up’ (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
This surely applies to those we interact without outside the church. Surely it’s a good thing to also encourage my teachers, my baristas, my grocer, my kid’s tutor and so on?
It’s why parents need to be ‘in conversation’ with their teachers, (and this is especially so in primary school during their early years) so we can freely discuss such issues with respect and not be a ‘pain in the ass’. Well, we still might be, but the ‘other conversations’ will balance it out. Encouragement to a teacher goes a long way…they are often feel undervalued and underappreciated…basically any ‘under’ you can think of. Except holidays, that’s definitely not ‘under’. My wife is good at this. Over the years she has been present in the school and able to approach teachers without being overwhelmed with fear. Note, I said ‘not overwhelmed’ not ‘without fear’. Schools too need to encourage this ‘open dialogue’ more. There still needs to be boundaries and respectful distance of some degree, but bringing parents closer to the anvil, is a better strategy than reinforcing ‘them’ and ‘us’.
One program I introduced into a school when I was a school chaplain was called ‘Kids Matter’ and it really encouraged the open participation of parents in school life. Breaking down the barrier between ‘them and us’ so the school was more of a shared community can pay dividends. Parents begin to feel welcome and included. Families of different cultures can feel recognised and valued. The classroom ceases to be this hermetically sealed room; you know like you’re friends’ parent’s bedroom that you just know not to enter.
So why don’t we front up and negotiate this homework madness?
Keeping up appearances
Worst of all we all want to keep up. I don’t want my kid being the one who stands out because she doesn’t do the project. More to the point…my kid doesn’t want to be the one to stand up and get noticed for not doing the project. Granted she’ll still do a great effort but she’ll be remembered not for the effort but for what she didn’t do. That’s just not gonna fly. Well not unless we parents start saying no to homework every now and then so it becomes a bit of an ‘Indie-hipster’ parent thing to do...anyone?
Guilt
And beyond that let’s face it, it’s guilt isn’t it? Guilt we have let the team down. Our family. Even our school. Our teacher. Guilt we’ve let our child down. Guilt we didn’t do what we were asked to do and just because it’s on the page it makes us feel that it must be important and necessary and compulsory for all good parents to do and if we don’t do it we are not good parents! Right?!
So we do the homework; we lose an entire weekend and we stay up late to knock out a solid effort that covers all the bases and doesn’t skimp. Mum and nine year old work weekday afternoons plus Saturday afternoon researching and collecting the information for the four locations. Nine year old spends all day Sunday in front of computer and is finally in bed by 10pm. I’m so impressed with her. She knocks out the speech Monday morning and it’s over. She almost falls asleep at the dinner table on Monday.
Parents to blame?
If you did ask the teacher or school they’d probably tell you it’s the parents who are asking for all the extra extension activities. ‘We want more challenging work!’ Not all parents a slackers like me. Many it seems want little Johnny to be challenged…or prepped rather for the selective high school test so he can get a great HSC, followed by a great Uni degree, followed by a great career, followed by great houses, cars, boats, money, travel, superannuation, a great nursing home and spectacular funeral.
I jest. But it’s not always the teachers driving the action. The yoke is borne by all often because a few antsy parents want Johnny to get a great big life. A few? Maybe it’s the majority these days, I don’t know. But you’d better be careful ranting at the school gate…your dear son’s best friend’s mum might just be the homework Nazi.
I wish teachers could make the distinction though and set special and voluntary extra work for all the little Johnny’s. But then the rest of us would have to be content to not ‘keep up’ and have the confidence to put emphasis on other but equally valuable uses of time, like creative play.
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