I never liked the sleep over party.
As a kid, I soon learnt that my bed was the best place to be not someone’s dusty rumpus room floor.
It’s not just the sleep over that I dislike. It’s the fact that our kids and their friends still expect birthday invites, presents and parties in their teens.
When I was a kid, we got a birthday party in primary school. Maybe an outing for our final year. But high school? I don’t remember a single party. If we wanted to celebrate it would be a not particularly memorable day organised by ourselves, at the beach or a trip to the movies for our 16th . Not so today…there’s no sign of the invitation, party, present thing stopping once kids finish primary school. Presents…I don’t remember those after primary school, not from friends anyway, maybe one from mum and dad but that was it.
Why don’t we as parents just say, ‘hang on a minute…wait! That’s it guys…no more parties…until your 21!
Is it because we don’t want our kids to grow up?
Perhaps, and I get that.
Or is it helicoptering parenting trying to control the inevitable celebration by having it on site?
Yep, and I get that too. If they're willing to stay home and party with us as chaperones, why knock it back?
Or is it our guilt, you know like we don't want to think of ourselves as bad parents because we won't put parties on anymore?
Could it be that our kids are actually better off with us encouraging them to stand a little more on their own two feet?
I don’t mind my kids going out with their friends to the movies or somewhere fun, but the days of us funding the whole scheme is over baby!
Now the sleepover is a cheapy, so why not support that? I mean how hard can it be right…just kids sleeping on your floor?
We tried very hard to discourage our kids from sleepovers and now that they have finally lifted the hood on them, we are all agreed: Sleepovers are dumb.
Here’s 10 reasons why:
- Some queen bee will always try to run or ruin your party no matter where or when you have it. So why would you give them 12 hours to wreak havoc?
- Bagsing the bed positions (that is saying what spot you’re going to sleep in before anyone else does): Yes, it all sounds so simple doesn’t it? The kids will crash on the lounge room floor where ever they can find space. But that’s where the fun really begins and the sore memories. Julie arrived first and she and Francy have bagsed sleeping next to the birthday girl.
- Pecking order: you’d hope that a birthday party would be a level playing field where everyone is welcome…and has equal stake in the event. Until you find your mattress stashed at the outer perimeter of the rumpus room right next to the door where the draft from the garage surges past. Meanwhile the ‘in’ group of friends have built a pillow fort encircling the birthday girl like Custer and his last stand.
- The Besty: yep someone at the sleep over always wants to claim ‘besty’ status. You know, there the ones who help open the presents, organize the mattresses, chat to the mum and raid the fridge at will. No matter what goes on, the besty will claim first rights.
- Bring nothing except your pyjamas and pillow: Sounds too easy until you get there and there’s no mattresses. Ever spent the night on the floor? Very memorable indeed. Or maybe you got lucky and scored a couch. Only the next day you wonder if the pain in your neck is permanent as couches may look, but rarely are, flat.
- The mattress that keeps going down: ever been on one of these?
- Early morning television is fun: No, it’s not. Kids need sleep.
- Setting a curfew is impossible: Mobile phones have just about ruined the chance of anyone switching off at any time. You can turn the tele off but you won’t be able to turn their phones off…’have you seen this video on YouTube?’
- Parents: Shut the door and go to bed. Yeah if you can sleep over the late night tele and squealing. Got work the next day? Good luck with 3 hours sleep the night before.
- Your kid won’t thank you for such a great party but they will grace you with intolerable mood swings and grouchiness that is normal for their teen age but greatly exacerbated by lack of sleep and the stress of dealing with all the politics of all the different personalities jammed overnight in your rumpus room.
Perhaps there is one grace from all of this. Our kids learnt the value of sleep. They agree the sleepover is dumb. There's better way's to spend time with friends.
God gave us sleep for a reason. We need it and are pitiful to live with if we don't get it. You gotta live inside the 'box' as Arch Hart would say. God's box works. Try and run life 'outside the lines' and it's painful, disruptive and unproductive.
My kids also appreciated home a little more. Not that any of you guys out there have horrible homes or anything. I mean, they just appreciate their home and family.
Parents of teenagers, we need to take a stand.
No more parties
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