My daughter got into zone carnival for swimming and at the end of the race I said the familiar, perhaps even predictably cliché encouragement of, ‘well done, you did great’, but my daughter spoke the truth plainly… ‘I came last!’

I remember getting into zone for cross country running when I was in primary school. I thought, wow, I must be good at this!? But then I got to the zone race. Man there were lots of kids who it seemed were also good at this. The gun went off and we hurtled down this steep hill covered in gravel. I remember the little rocks chasing us down the hill as several competitors tumbled on the loose ground skinning their elbows and knees. It was hot and as I got to the level ground at the bottom of the hill I was already at the back of the pack.  As we ran around the edge of the mangrove ringed flat kids started taking short cuts as we got beyond sight of the officials. What a joke! My school’s cross country course felt like a breeze compared to this piece of work. But the cheating made me lose heart pretty quick. No, I finished the race but I just decided that was it for me. I remember climbing back up that hill, you couldn’t run it, it was too hard and I remember coming close to last and feeling exhausted and sick by the end.

Mum: how did you go?

Me: I came last.

“The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises” Ecclesiastes 1:5

History repeats

Why it’s important to help our kids keep perspective on their efforts

The great thing to really celebrate is that my child can now swim a beautiful 50 metres of breast stroke without stopping and keep up with other kids her age.  Years ago, she couldn’t make it to the end of the 20 metre lesson pool. This kid can swim!

So it’s important that we help our kids to remember where they have come from, not just what is lacking.

My wife often has to remind me about how far my live shows have come.  I keep striving for better and I’m rarely satisfied with a show, but my wife occasionally get to see one of the Anton’s Antics shows and then she is able to highlight to me just how much better they are getting.  The characters are more fully formed, the standard of the songs are really standing up, I’m more relaxed and professional, and the list goes on. But it’s really hard for me to see that as I never see a show and I don’t have the perspective of how the shows have grown.

Great things take great time

As a family we’ve been reading the story of William Wilberforce, a shortened, kid friendly biography. The guy was a Christian who went into politics in England to dismantle slavery back in the 1700’s. But it took a heavy toll on him, as this kind of enormous social change would cost people millions. The thing is, his herculean success did not happen overnight. It took years and years.

Most ‘big’ changes or advancements by people take long term focussed dedication.  It’s hard for adults to stick at it, even harder for kids to have this kind of perspective.  So if our kids have a passion or a conviction to do something, we need to be the ones as parents, constantly encouraging them so they push through the years of opposition and disappointment.  We need to give them perspective that adults often can see more easily than children.

Enjoy the doing not the done.

Steve Jobs once said it’s not about the end product but the journey.  Olympic swimmers have to enjoy swimming; it can’t just be about the medals. After all whose going to remember that you won a gold medal in 15 or 20 years time?

Entrepreneurs in the Bible laid down similar wisdom as they reflected on their gargantuan efforts:

‘A person can do no better than to eat, drink and enjoy their work, this too I see is from the hand of God, for without Him who can eat or find enjoyment’ Ecclesiastes 2:24

Reward or ‘gain’ in this world is about finding enjoyment in the doing.  The doing of work, of raising a family, being a mum, a dad, running a business.

Paul who took Christianity to the world in the first century took things further, giving perspective on the world to come:

“I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things”

So it is good to encourage kids to just enjoy the sport. To find pleasure in being fit and the buzz of exercise and even perhaps the thrill of competition.  It’s good to be there for them so they have the love and encouragement to not give up. But it’s even better if they can know the hope that reaches beyond the transitory achievements of this life.

Stephen Shearsby is a Christian writer and performer

Check out his two gospel shows here:

Anton’s Antics www.antonsantics.com

Barista Banter www.baristabanter.com.au