Following the devastating loss of comedian and actor, Robin Williams, we decided to turn the issue of depression and suicide into a little discussion with our kids before bed. Yep, I know nice happy thoughts before bed.

Have you thought about talking to your kids about this? Is it too awkward? Are you worried about making them anxious just by talking about it? Research has shown that kids who do not learn coping strategies for anxiety are often found to develop levels of depression in later life.

So what can we do to address the early stages of what might be depression in kids? I’m not a doctor, but here are a few thoughts before I share one very powerful tool you must know:

Eating and Diet

Watching what we eat, including what our kids eat is probably another important thing to watch. Do we let them eat lots of high fat, high sugar foods? Chips, cookies, milkshakes, soft drinks. Actor and entertainer Jim Carey noticed that his depression was easier to deal with when he got onto a healthier diet and stopped eating junk food.

Exercise and what you love

Regular exercise has to also be an important part of the recipe for managing anxiety. For the past few nights I haven’t slept well. So I accept anxiety probably has something to do with it (despite also a sick wife). I’ve got lots I need to catch up on for work, but not exercising I’ve learnt is a false economy. So today I took myself up to the pool and forced myself to swim. It felt great.

One thing I do know is to watch for things like loss of appetite and especially for any sign that you might stop doing something you normally love doing. So for me it’s surfing. If I didn’t feel like going surfing for a while, that would be a red flag to say something serious is afoot. Might be time to go to the doctor. So we can look out for this kind of withdrawal in our kids as well. But in our kids, it’s likely to be a withdrawal based on anxiety…fear of peers and what they think; Fear of failure; Fear of not having confidence to do the activity anymore. It could be a small, short term fear. But it could be a fear that is part of an emerging pattern of anxiety.

These days with all the electronic devices our kids are growing up with a much more sedentary childhood. We need to limit their time on devices and screens and encourage ways for the family to regularly exercise together and individually. This could be enforcing 10 minutes on the trampoline every day or walking to school and the shops a couple of times a week. What strategies have you found effective with your kids to get them moving?

Before I mention that program I ran with kids as a chaplain, to help them manage anxiety, I want to share with you a powerful, but very simple, daily tool I learnt from the course to manage anxiety. It’s something that stops the dark little dog in the corner filling the lenses.  What is it?

Happy Thought for the Day

[caption id="attachment_255" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Rainbow Lorikeets turn out in force for afternoon tea"][/caption]

It’s a Happy Thought for the Day. You can and should try to model this to your kids. We do it now and then around the dinner table. You ask each person to share their happy thought of the day. It could be a something yummy you ate at school, a memory; the colour of the sky today; something good a teacher said etc. This habit, and it can become a helpful habit, helps stem anxiety and recognises that not all is bad, not all is lost, and not all is discouraging. It’s just a moment, this darkness, this worry, will pass. It’s not everything.

[caption id="attachment_256" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="My Happy Thought for the Day - Birds ministering to me. What a treat!"][/caption]

Happy Thought for the Day is also quite a Biblical idea.  The Bible exhorts us to give God glory for all that He has made and done. Just read some of the Psalms (e.g. Ps 145-150).  It also encourages us to ‘give thanks in all situations’ (1 Timothy 6?). So our happy thought for the day can and should be directed to God. He deserves our praise and we behave as a human being should when we entrust ourselves with joy and thanks to the One who made all our times (Ecclesiastes 3).